FUCKNITS

Attention!

2008-01-04T15:21:00.000-08:00

I'm moving this blog to:

http://fucknits.feministy.com

It's a bit of a mess right now as I get my head around Wordpress and dust off my long-neglected FTP skillz.

Please update your bookmarks! Both of you!!

Hurray!

2007-12-20T15:44:00.000-08:00

I leave Paris tomorrow!

Goodbye smell!
Goodbye spending four hours a day on public transport!
Good riddance children and your terrible toilet habits!
Good riddance expensive cafés!
Au revoir disgusting men!
Adieu everywhere closing at 9pm!

Hello pubs!
Hello plentiful taxis that stop for you so you don't have to ride a bike in the freezing cold at 1.30am!
Hello properly cooked meat!
Hello meat that's been cooked at all for that matter!
Hello food that's been killed before serving as well!

So. Tired.

2007-12-11T16:40:00.000-08:00

Sleepy as fuck but I keep putting off updating this and I'm actually getting a backlog of FOs!

I leave Paris in about a week and a half and then I have no idea what I'll be doing with my life or where I'll be living. I really should do what I've been saying I'll do for about three years and buy a campervan.

I've been doing lots of ice skating this week, there's two rinks been set up at Montparnasse and Hotel de Ville. I've been wearing the cabled hat I mentioned in my last post (toooooo tired to link). Click here for a like, totally rad (I'm so not down with the kids anymore...) video of us displaying our mad skillz (both on ice an with yarn).

I finished the Sari Silk earflaps hat and I love it to bits. When I wear it I can hear the silk creaking, it's got such a nice, thick texture. The best bit is, just as I'd finished I was crocheting a border around it and I came to a knot (first one!) The ball changed from a bluey-purpley colour to an orangey-greeny one. I don't know if you can tell from the picture... but I'm so pleased, it's like two for the price of one.

So here's the hat, and a close up of the fabric:

...and here's the Calorimetry I knocked up with the second colour. Nice pattern, I'd never looked at it closely before and didn't realise it was made with short rows.

(I think you can click on the photos for full size... if so that close up makes a great desktop wallpaper, although it's a bit busy).

So now I've mastered magic loop, I had no excuse not to buy an 80cm long 2.5mm circular needle and get started on some socks for Simon I'm making with some really nice Regia. My first toe ups! Going along great so far...

I got him to measure his feet over the phone the other night and he says they're 265mm (10.5 inches) long and exactly the same circumference. Does that sound wrong/strange/freaky to anyone?

Late night, overdue update from a wino

2007-12-07T17:42:00.000-08:00

A quick FO first of all...

A hat I knocked up out of Phildar Kadischan (I'll check the name in the morning) and using this cable pattern from the Lion Brand website that I've had my eye on for a while. I've been wearing it constantly. It fits over my ears and my (still minuscule) ponytail perfectly.

I have loads I wanted to write about the huge behemoth craft fair I went to on Monday, but I've had a crappy week and I've kept putting it off. Happy thoughts now: thanks to the wonderful Sylvie Chez Plum I was provided with two free tickets. I planned to go on Saturday but I was left holding the baby. Ok, stop it - back to the happy thoughts! I went on Monday instead, and it was cool. Not a massive amount of knitting stuff, besides a nice, big Phildar stall, some ridiculously silky stuff from Mercredi & Cie (right) and a stall from Namaste Sathi, where I finally gave into temptation/curiousity/lust and bought 250g worth of recycled sari silk for €15.

Look at it, it's beautiful, even though that picture doesn't do it any justice because I was too impatient to wait until the natural light was good enough.

I searched Ravelry for patterns and could only find bags TOMORROW WHEN YOU'VE HAD SOME SLEEP AND SOBERED UP PUT LINKS TO BAGS HERE, which I kinda needed anyway and I've just had to retire my old bag so I could bastardise it for the zip and lining. But for some reason I couldn't get excited about a bag. I began to worry I'd turn into one of those terrible 'stashers' and just keep the ball on display forever, fondling it occasionally. (Wrong, wrong, wrong, in so many ways. Keeping yarn that isn't on a set of needles is like keeping booze that isn't for drinking. Wrong.)

Then as luck would have it, I had Tuesday off and spent some time wandering around Le Marais. I found a couple of hippy/incense burning/free Tibet type shops that happened to have a few scarfs made out of sari silk. Then I saw a hat, with ear flaps made out of the stuff. I tried it on and the deal was done. I was pretty sure I could make this without a pattern, but I Ravelled it anyway and bought this pattern from 'Woolly Wormhead' just to make sure.

The pattern is top down, and required starting out with 6 stitches. I tried about 3 times to do this on dpns but they kept slipping out and I nearly blew a blood vessel. So I did my first attempt at Magic Loop, and even though the yarn meant the stitch definition was almost non-existent so it was like knitting in the dark, I was pleased with the technique. I've one earflap left now.

Mmmm.... what else? Oh yeah, confession time. I was in a vintage clothes store in Le Marais and found myself all alone in the basement. I couldn't resist it so I tried on a fur coat. Someone came down the stairs after about 10 seconds and I quickly threw it off in shame but fuck me, that was the most amazing coat ever. I looked a million dollars, even in my £6 Primark jeans. I think I might have to move to Russia.

The good, the bad and the fugly

2007-11-26T16:24:00.000-08:00

The Good
This weekend has been FUN. I've been out every night and shopping/sightseeing/church going* in the daytime. On Saturday we found one of those make-your-own-jewellery shops in Le Marais. Normally those places don't appeal to me, but this one was packed full of pretty, shiny things and it was also cheap. I made myself this necklace...
Also, it was Pamela's birthday on Friday so I knocked up (i.e. crocheted) a beret for her in some really nice Monoprix Husky (50% merino 50% acrylic I think, and super chunky). I didn't get a chance to buy the yarn until Friday itself but luckily I managed to get most of it done on my bus journey home from Monoprix.
The Fugly (I'm saving the best til last)
This ring was only 50 cents. That's all I have to say in its favour. Ugh, it gives me the creeps!
The Bad
On Friday night someone mentioned how they'd been in Montmartre and realised after a while that they must have appeared on about 10 different photos taken by tourists. We laughed and joked about doing it on purpose - getting your face onto photos that would be seen around the world. Then I thought - ooh, imagine doing that in the See You Next Tuesday Hat! That would be totes lolzworthy, yes?

Update on the Pomatomus/yarn barf situation: the yarn is now split into two separate balls. I had to cut. I learnt how to spit-splice (bleeeerrrgh - especially after drinking wine and not brushing my teeth... whoops, TMI - but at the same time a very effective technique). I'm 75% through the first sock. Worked out the deceptively simple Chart B (hint: ignore those blank squares. They don't mean k1. Start and finish at the thick black lines) and managed to do a fair portion, from memory, at 3am on the nightbus home, after a good few glasses of Merlot.

*Vespers at Notre Dame. It was somewhere warm to wait for Jenny ;)

The knitting gods obviously don't approve of my bad language...

2007-11-18T13:21:00.000-08:00

I'm on the second chart repeat of Pomatomus, getting along great and I've just found my rhythm.

Then the Ball from Hell decides to spew out this:

Apparently this phenomenon is called 'yarn barf' but in this case the ball pretty much turned itself inside out. I'm furious.

I have about the same sized tangle that took me 4 hours to undo. My options seem to be:
1. Pouring myself a stiff one and trying to untangle, however I have my sock-in-progress attached to one end so that will be even harder/potentially risky.
2. Knit a bit, untangle a bit, knit a bit. No, I get stressed out just typing that.
3. Putting the work I've done on a holder and starting the second sock from the outside of the ball. Pain in the arse and I'm not looking forward to another 10 rows of 1x1 rib (knitting into the effing back loop).
4. Cutting. I'll be fucked if I have to cut into a ball of wool that someone (admittedly not me) spent a good sum of money on.

I'm of no doubt now that ball winding is a skill in itself, time consuming, and requiring at the least a good level of ability and at the most a ton of equipment. I'm not here for that, I'm here for the knitting.

Fuckity fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

See you next Tuesday x

2007-11-18T07:09:00.000-08:00

Some people may find this hat in bad taste. But I happen to like pom-poms, ok?

Behold the master!

2007-11-17T16:34:00.000-08:00

I am now a knitting guru. This is because I have a protegé, Sylvie-Claire, another lost au pair in Paris I met through Facebook. We totally cyberstalked each other, she left a message in an au pair group and I spied her dreads and was like, yeah, she needs to be my friend! And when we met she was like, "you knit too! so do I!" and I was like "OMGZ that is SO COOL I don't know anyone else in real life who knits! what do you knit?" and she was like, "scarves" and I was like, "OMGZ you really need to get into making other stuff coz it like totally rox!"

From what she told me and the pics she sent of her stuff I could see she was well ready to progress. I know that if I hadn't found the amazing Stitch and Bitch books I'd still be doing flat pieces and... um... hats made out of three panels of knitting. We went shopping last Saturday at La Droguerie and she bought some mohair for a scarf and some wool for hat. By about Tuesday she sent me a pic of her stripey scarf which was already massive. I was like, "girl, now iz the time for you to be makin hatz".

She was given a hat pattern along with her wool in La Droguerie, but it was all in French. So I sent her these instructions that I cobbled together in an email.

Tonight she came online around midnight (I'm stuck at home babysitting, she's stuck at home because of the transport strike) and needed some help... I talked her through finishing off her hat. The conversation was kinda like talking something through delivering a baby (or so I'd imagine) concluding in the ecstatic, moving climax when she emailed me pics of the finished object. I confess a tear almost welled up in my eyes.

The next step is to teach her how to make hats emblazoned with expletives...

I win

2007-11-14T03:41:00.000-08:00

My willpower has been amazing lately. On Saturday I took Sylvie to La Droguerie, where she bought two balls of mohair and some wool. We waited about ten minutes amongst all the gorgeous wool for the balls to be wound and I managed not to buy anything.

Yesterday I went to Le Bon Marché because I needed a set of 5 dpns for my Pomatomus socks, and managed to walk away with only the needles, although I was sorely tempted by a scarf kit, of all things, produced by La Droguerie.

I got lots of moral support after posting my ball winding woes on Ravelry. Glad to see I'm not the only one. Strikes me as weird though that as we speak, 4 people have clicked 'agree' on my post, and 4 have clicked 'disagree'. How can anyone disagree with my post? Are they disputing I spent 4 hours untangling 200 yards of wool? I guess some people must just really love making balls... good for them. Perhaps they should start advertising their services.

aaaaaaand...

2007-11-12T06:10:00.000-08:00

... now I realise I never posted my last, amazing FO. The impact will be lessened slightly seeing as Halloween has passed.

Pretty hat yes? No! Click here for a fright. People with heart conditions are advised to proceed with caution.

This post is edumacational

2007-11-12T05:18:00.000-08:00

Been a lazy blogger lately. Went back home to Liverpool for a week and a half and was busy, busy, busy. Although that's no reason why I've only just got around to sorting these pictures out from my trip to Musée d'Orsay in September. I took them in RAW format and forgot about them... anyway, behold:

Knitting Art in Paris by Helen Wilkie

First off, I saw this painting, "Bergère avec son troupeau" (Shepherdess with her flock) by Millet. Click title for full pic. As you will see, she's using DPNs. I didn't even know of their existence until 2005.

Next off, also in the Musée d'Orsay, a statue of a girl... er... spinning? I have no knowledge at all of spinning. And I have no desire too, my patience has already been put to its limits winding up a ball (more to follow).

Next, I saw these murals in the Bastille metro station. Apologies for the photos, I took them on my phone and there were some people sitting right beneath them, wondering what the hell I was doing. They show tricoteuses, and were obviously painted by someone who's never knit.

This ends today's lesson.

I have one lousy FO to post. My second Short Row Hat made with Noro Kureyon. This colourway matches my bag almost perfectly, which thrills me no end.

And now a rant about skeins of yarn, which I've already vented on Ravelry. I have a gorgeous skein of Cherry Tree Hill that Interannette sent me in a swap. I'm absolutely desperate to cast it on to make some socks. Last night I sat down with a loo roll and the second series of Spaced on dvd and started to wind my ball. By the end of the dvd (seven or eight episodes and some extras) I was still left with this:

That's one large, slightly wonky ball of wool, a knot and another little ball of wool where I realised I would have to start untangling from the other end.

That's four hours of my life I'll never get back. Thank god for Simon Pegg, Jessica Stephenson and my insomnia. I could have been up to the heel of the first sock my now!

Seriously though, I'm actually quite annoyed now about the whole practice of selling yarn in skeins. Unless you've got a ball winder and/or swift you've got a long, boring, difficult job on your hands before you can even get down to the knitting. It doesn't make economic sense, in the money or time sense to buy yarn in skeins if you've got to go out any buy more equipment. I feel like it's a bit of an affectation - "I'm so dedicated to knitting I'm prepared to suffer for it". Yarn does look nice in a big twisted hank but it's so impractical. As people on Ravelry pointed out, you pay more for the yarn and then have to wind it yourself, whereas cheapo mass produced stuff comes ready wound. I think we're being had.

Not that I don't love my yarn and have lots of respect for independent yarn producers. Maybe I'd just like to kick up a bit of a stink so traders might start offering the option of ordering yarn pre-wound.

Anyway... once I get past this knot I think a pair of Pomatomus are in order (that's a helluva lot easier to type than to say).

The Ravelry love continues...

2007-10-19T17:42:00.000-07:00

So today I bought some yarn to make me one of these for Halloween. That was around 12 hours ago and I've only just got to casting on thanks to going on Ravelry to input the project and the yarn and a few photos, and of course, check up on the pinny-porn debate.

When I left it, there were getting onto 600 posts (over nine days). When I logged in this evening, it had shot up to around 850. Wow, what's got the Ravelers incensed now? Glass of wine in hand, I got myself comfy and settled down to read the ten new pages. I even almost considered grabbing a pen and paper to take notes...

What a disappointment. Someone made a flippant, tension-easing comment along the lines of 'who wants some pie?'. The next ten pages consisted solely of 'my favourite pie/the last pie I ate/pies I have loved and lost'. I managed to find a couple of on-topic posts with my finger held firmly on the down key.

Well, this wasn't good enough. I took out my hosepipe and rained on their parade. I pointed out that when religion had reared it's ugly head, people began to comment that the thread had gone off-topic. I argued that the thread had simply evolved in that direction. However, people appearing out of nowhere to scream 'blueberry pie!' was, in my opinion, a thread-jack.

(I've just realised I'm blogging about an arguement on a website. Note to self: get a life.)

As you can expect, people came back to me and said 'hey, what's a little light relief?' but I kept on sulking and picked up on someone else's point that it's a sorry day when people are afraid to speak up about religion or feminism but mention pies and the internet practically bursts at the seams. I went further to mention that I'd read the blog of the sole voice in favour of a literal interpretation of the bible and the submission of wives (yeah, it was that interesting!) and she'd mentioned that she'd received PMs of support in direct consequence of her posts. I slightly unwittingly put the cat amongst the pigeons by suggesting that it would be a shame if these people hadn't spoken up in support of her in public, but were all about the pies.

Well, I couldn't have predicted what happened next. One of the very people who PM-ed posted, saying that she had contacted the original poster, and that she had been wary of speaking up beforehand because of how other people might perceive her. She said she wasn't proud of this and went on to state her beliefs. She then thanked me personally for 'calling her out'.

I really don't know what to say now. I'm quite taken aback at how my words have caused someone to make a very brave and bold step. I'm also repeatedly surprised at the civility, patience and friendliness of a type of Christian I'm naturally inclined to abhor. Certainly, it could be a tactic - they are 'charismatic' after all, but I actually don't want to believe that. I guess I want to believe I've learnt something, from Ravelry yet again, that your enemy can sometimes be a lot more likeable than your ally.

Also, it has occurred to me that accusing people of staying silent may lead to an enormous number of fundamentalist Christians to come crawling out of the woodwork. This wouldn't make me very popular, I'm sure, but I'd be happy with it. The whole reason I was upset about my beloved thread being dumbed-down was that, while I wax-lyrical about my favourite subjects all the time, I hardly ever do with people who don't generally agree with me. Like most people I hang around with others with similar interests so even if I suddenly got the urge, I couldn't find a born-again Christian to sound off with.

The good thing about Ravelry/the internet/knitting is that it brings people together, but not necessarily all the same type of people.

Quick photo update? Short row socks (ugh), soon to be frogged on their gorgeous holders (yey!)...

Some crazy idea I had with the Flamme Bayadere to make mittens. Soon to be frogged. Pretty gross huh?

Ravelry Love

2007-10-17T21:55:00.000-07:00

In addition the to fact that it's internet heroin, I'm stuck in the Parisian suburbs (which make Caversham look dull, never thought I'd say that) and totally missing grown up conversation in English. This results in me spending vast amounts of time on Ravelry, in particular the forums.

I'm currently engaged in a very thought-provoking, controversial (but always civilised) debate on religion, feminism, semantics and how they all relate to knitting. There's a born again Christian on there with some ultra-controversial views, but I can't help but like her because; 1. she's super polite and good humoured and 2. she's a knitter, and on Ravelry, and everyone on Ravelry is a cut above the rest of the internet.

It's also quite bizarre to have such a heated discussion amongst people whose avatars are mostly fluffy kittens, babies, and knitted stuffed toys.

Anyway, to the knitting, I'm in a bit of a lull at the moment. I cast on these amazing socks but I'm having a nightmare of a time doing them on 4 dpns. It might be time to try out the 2 x circular needles method. That would be a shame though, seeing as I've just received these magical delights:
DPN protectors from Three Owls Knitting on Etsy.com. My socks will no longer fall apart in my bag! Once again, I have Ravelry to thank for these. I posted a question about how to transport WIPs on DPNs and found out about them from the maker herself.

I also cast on my Flamme Bayadere on some DPNs with the intention of making some sort of mittens, but I'm bored already. It's 100% wool and I'm getting a faint urge to try felting...

My Dashing mitts are finished, and have already been worn around Paris a few times. Taking pictures of both your hands at the same time is a pain in the arse. I used the self timer but because I have to have a fancy DSLR I can't see the view finder in the mirror. Here they are anyway...

Voilà!

2007-10-05T06:46:00.000-07:00

Blimey, things are flying off my needles faster than I can update my progress bars on Ravelry! I've got about 10 rows and the thumb to finish on my second Dashing mitt, and the mohair I bought on Monday is now this spiffing hat...

(You have no idea how many shots it took, and how many times I almost dislocated my arm, to get even that photo, and it's still crap).
As it's red, I'll probably wear it to the demo on Saturday in support of the people of Burma.

Super Day Out

2007-10-03T06:05:00.001-07:00

I had to work all weekend, looking after the Brat, but I got Monday off in return. I spent the whole day in Paris and it was amazing. I looked around the huge flea market, had an orange-flavoured beer in the café where Amelie was filmed, bought a new coat and then ended the day at a book reading in Shakespeare and Co.

I also bought yarn. I've only been here just over 4 weeks and I already have quite a stash, but luckily it's nearly all getting used. First off all, I found another Monoprix with a yarn section and got two skeins of 'Flamme Bayadere', 100% wool for €3 each.

Then I discovered (well, went to an internet café to get the address, then figured out my route on the metro, then studied a map for a loooong time figuring out where the hell I was in relation to Chatelet les Halles) La Droguerie. It's amazing inside, all the yarn is hanging from the walls in big loops and you buy it by weight. They also have an amazing range of buttons and beads. I bought 50g of mohair which is already on the needles, destined to be a hat.

I was supposed to have last night (Tuesday) off too, but I ended up babysitting. I wasn't happy because I needed a break from the Brat. It all worked out in the end though, because I meeting some friends tonight instead, for what is apparently the best hot chocolate in Paris.

What kind of knitting blog is this?

2007-09-26T03:34:00.001-07:00

Just realised I forgot to post my last FO, my Edgar scarf. I've worn it into Paris already, it's perfect as it's still not warm enough to need a coat, but good to have a bit of extra warmth after sunset. Because it's so small, it fits in my bag when I want to take it of. Parfait!

FO alert

2007-09-26T03:26:00.001-07:00

I finally finished my Twisted Tweed Socks. Except I'm cheating a little and leaving them as a WIP on Ravelry (albeit at 100%) so they show up in my sexy new sidebars ----> you like?

I had a small case of second sock syndrome here, which I can blame on moving to Paris and buying Noro. Unfortunately, in the break I forgot how to do the short rows properly. I still like them, even if there's some teeny tiny holes.

Inspired by this post, the onset of autumn/winter, and the need to keep my progress bars looking interesting, I'm going to cast on a pair of Dashing tout de suite with my new Monoprix yarn, and also have a little photo sesh.

More lovely French surprises

2007-09-24T13:02:00.000-07:00

Things are ticking along nicely here in France, I've made friends with some cool au pairs via the medium of Facebook (no, really!) and I've even been playing out in Paris quite late. I live in the suburbs, which I now realise my least favourite place to be. I'd rather be in the middle of nowhere, or smack bang in the centre of the action, but in the suburbs you just get the worst of both worlds.

However, it isn't as bad here because Paris has amazing public transport that runs 24 hours, so I can catch a bus home from Montparnasse and use my Navigo card, and it doesn't cost me a penny. It drops me at my door too. However, the other night I was with a Texan girl who lives near La Defense (other side of Paris) and we'd been drinking (or rather, having drinks bought for us by some friendly Canadian tourists) near Notre Dame. After I put her safely in a taxi, I needed to get to Montparnasse.

So I hired a bike. Seriously. They have them on almost every street corner, you swipe your Navigo card and away you go. I cycled (sometimes on the wrong side of the road, always wobbly) to Montparnasse and it nearly killed me. My legs turned to jelly. When I got home, I checked out the distance, figuring it would be at least 6 miles. No. 2.5km. But I did take a pretty roundabout route.

Anyway, another nice surprise about being in the suburbs and using public transport was when I nipped into the Monoprix at Robinson RER whilst waiting for my bus. I've never seen it before, but it seems they have their own brand of yarn. I found this gorgeous Noro-a-like for only €2.90. I think I'll be making a pair of Dashing to keep my hands warm but my fingers free to knit in the coming months.

Aw, shucks...

2007-09-12T11:13:00.000-07:00

What I like about France... they've already named a yarn after me!

Paris, Noro, Music... you do the math

2007-09-02T13:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I stumbled on the knitting department in Le Bon Marché just as a Sufjan Stevens track on my mp3 player reached a beautiful crescendo... I swear it was almost spiritual.

I walked away with some Kureyon for another Short Row Hat and my first skein of Silk Garden for an Edgar scarf. I must have got a bit lost in the moment though because they came to €21, which I'm sure is well over the odds.

What's French for spit? Or to be more precise "stop it, I'm covered in spit"?

New life

2007-08-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm 24 hours in to my new job, new home, new country, and tout va bien. The house is great, there's loads of original artwork and books everywhere and a piano in my room.

Pablo is great fun, happy and not at all shy. Today he beat me at Monopoly and Yu-Gi-Oh (not hard to do), decapitated a flying insect for his microscope, sniggered at the risqué lyrics of Fatal Bazooka on youtube and went out on his scooter with some friends. I trundled along, but soon realised I was a bit of a spare part without wheels. So I went back home for some knitting and sat on a bench in the sun. Pablo came over and asked what I was doing, then ran back to his friends saying "she's making a sock!" like it was the coolest thing ever. That boy will go far.

Productive weekend

2007-08-26T09:29:00.000-07:00

New hat!

Gorgeous yarn and super CD from Interannette.

Courtesy of the Last.fm group on Ravelry. Yet another example of how Ravelry has made my life better in real terms.

Off to the Monro for tea tonight with the folks seeing as I'm buggering off to France on Tuesday. I'm sure I should be packing or practising the language or something, not just knitting all the time.

Extreme knitting, anyone?

2007-08-23T11:30:00.000-07:00

Spent the weekend down in St Ives, Cornwall. Took my knitting along, but didn't really spend much time sat on my arse.

When the others went snorkelling, I decided it wasn't my thing so took my sock-in-progress in the sea with me instead...

But it wasn't that cold and the underwater camera I'd bought was just too much fun...

I even had a surfing lesson. I was prepared to hate it, but in contrast to my first ever snowboarding lesson, I didn't want it to end. I never managed to get up off my knees on the board, but the very first wave I caught took me all the way back to shore at a mental speed.

After St Ives I stayed with Simon for a couple of days on his boat, and got my first Twisted Tweed sock finished.

Anyone got a pattern for a wetsuit?

Unemployment Survival Guide

2007-08-16T05:38:00.000-07:00

Something to listen to.

Internet.

Juice.

Sustenance.

Something to do with my hands.

Repeat daily between 1pm and 5am.

My life is like some horrible chapter of Bridget Jones' Diary.

Except I'm not a fuckwit.